Going to change gears today…
Lesson 18: Don’t Confuse Evaluation with Value.
My first public speech was about my fear of public speaking.
Pun intended.
I opened that speech by repeating the familiar claim that people fear public speaking more than death.
Then I stood there and delivered it anyway.
Since then…
I’ve spoken in front of thousands of people.
I’ve hosted a Bloomberg syndicated radio show.
I’ve trained thousands of associates.
I’ve led large teams.
And still… every time I’m about to speak…
My stomach tightens.
My pulse quickens.
My heart races. 🙄
Imagine that?
Not because I don’t know what to say… But because, for a brief moment, it feels like everything is on the line.
For years, I assumed that meant I lacked confidence or preparedness.
Eventually, I discovered something different…
As an only child for the first 16 years of my life, I wanted friends more than anything.
I craved meaningful connection.
But some of the people whose acceptance I wanted most made me feel as though I had to earn my place.
I was laughed at.
Criticized.
Embarrassed.
Somewhere along the way, my brain learned a lesson:
Being seen isn’t always safe.
The strange thing about childhood lessons is that they don’t disappear simply because you become successful.
You can become a great student… A decent athlete… An author… A community leader…
While a younger version of you is still wondering whether the room will accept him.
I’m clearly not “afraid” of public speaking… I’ve just spent years confusing evaluation with VALUE.
An interview evaluates my experience. It does not determine my worth.
Leading a meeting evaluates my communication. It does not determine whether I belong.
Growth is not always eliminating the butterflies.
Sometimes, it is recognizing that they belong to an old story… And refusing to let that story write today’s ending.
That’s ONE of the storys behind the stay. 😉
Lead accordingly!
Originally shared on LinkedIn. Republished here from Shawn’s original post.
